


Staying Strong

by cosmicbrowni3



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idk what I’m doing, Reader-Insert, Relationship with Reader, Spencer Reid - Freeform, after season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-11-14 06:56:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicbrowni3/pseuds/cosmicbrowni3
Summary: — TAKES PLACE DURING/AFTER SEASON 2 EPISODE 15 SPOILERS— You’re an agent at the BAU and currently dating Spencer Reid. Everything is perfect for you till Reid gets kidnapped. How will you cope?I do not own these characters! I do not claim any of that biz





	1. No. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story so please bear with me while I stumble around :) enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda fixed this chapter because I hate the writing in it but I'm not sure how much i can do to help but whatever, enjoy this garbage I guess?

The team had worked desperately to find Reid. You were devastated, you could barely focus on anything to help you find him. Your brain was scattered and you couldn't focus on anything without it reminding you of Spencer and bursting out in tears. You had watched the live video feed in horror, sobbing into Prentiss’s shoulder till she eventually pulled you away, even though you went screaming and sobbing. You and Reid had been dating for about a year now and everyone knew you both were madly in love. You shared a little apartment together and were happy as can be. That is until he was kidnapped. You were so, completely distraught that you just paced that house till your feet were sore and you didn’t know what to do.

“(Y/L/N). We found him.” Hotch said, pulling you out of your panic. You looked at him for a moment, absorbing in his words. Then you grabbed your gun and raced to the front door. You followed everyone else to the cars, filing in and speeding out of the lot with a squeal of the tires. Your knee bounced anxiously and J.J. placed her hand on it, startling you to look at her with wide eyes.

“He’ll be fine (Y/N). I promise.” She coaxed. You nodded and squeezed your eyes shut, a tear running down your cheek. You’d never felt this strongly about anyone ever and it was quite confusing for you.

You didn’t think of yourself as someone who would fall in love easily, but with Spencer it was different. It happened all at once and you knew he was the love of your life. He was always there for you and cheered you up when a case got you down. You had joined the team a little after Spencer and he instantly welcomed you, the chemistry between you so strong everyone was aware of it when they entered a room you two were in. You were inseparable. You felt the aching need to be there for him as he had for you. You felt the car slow and you opened the door before the car had even completely stopped.

“(Y/L/N)!” You heard someone call but you just raced to the small cabin, holding your gun up and yelling,

“FBI!” Before kicking the door down. You searched quickly and everyone piled in after you, checking for evidence. You left the cabin since it was clear he wasn’t there, you searched around the woods frantically for a minute till you heard a gunshot. You turned and raced toward the sound. He could not be gone. _I can’t live without him_. You thought. You saw some head stones sticking out of the ground and a figure slouched over a body. You got a little closer and saw the man you loved kneeling above a dead Tobias Hankel. You rushed to Spencer’s side and put your gun down, your attention only for him. You cupped his cheeks and turned his face toward yours. The side of his head was drenched in blood and his face was covered in bruises and cuts, purple bags hung under his eyes heavily. He still looked beautiful to you though.

“Spence, love? Are you okay?” You asked, he nodded hesitantly and a tear slid down his cheek. You enveloped him in an iron grip embrace. You felt him shake in relief against you, relief flooding both of your bodies, glad to be reunited.

“I love you.” You heard him whisper into your ear and you smiled a little.

"I love you too, so much." You heard everyone rush to you and the questions piled up. You very reluctantly pulled away from Spencer, standing up and offering your hand to him. He stood up and looked down deeply into your eyes. He couldn’t be bothered by everyone else right now. He cupped your cheeks and planted his lips on yours, the kiss full of passion, adoration, love, and relief. You grabbed his forearm for stability and he winced and pulled away. You looked down in concern and pulled up his shirt sleeve. Numerous needle pokes were purple against his pale skin and your breath hitched.  
“Was he drugging you?” You asked and everyone else bustled in, ruining your moment and giving Spencer an out of the question that no one else had heard. Spencer gave them all hugs and thank yous. Morgan and you had Spencer lean against your shoulders and supported him to the ambulance. They checked him out and treated him, you helped walk him to the car. You got in next to him and he leaned against your shoulder appreciatively. You wrapped your arms around him, your previous question dispelled from your mind. You held him close and didn't plan on letting go anytime soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helping Spencer get some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story takes a bit longer for me to write since I don't really know where it's going yet but I'll try to update as often as possible, thank you for reading!

You and Spencer rode home in a relieved silence. You drove, holding his hand tightly in between the seats. His head leaned against the back of the seat with his eyes closed. He was trying his hardest to relax but you would see the way he would flinch and open his eyes again in a hurry. You’d had nightmares before and a minor case of PTSD but nothing compared to what he had experienced and the aftermath to come. You gripped his hand a little tighter and shot him a concerned look. He gave you a pained smile and turned back to look at the road with half-lidded eyes. You frowned a little but continued driving in silence till you reached your small loft apartment. You walked to the front door and opened the door, going inside. Spencer followed behind blankly and obediently. 

“I'm gonna go take a shower.” He said gesturing with his thumb down the hall to the bathroom, while looking down at the floor. 

You nodded, “Ok, I’ll be out here.” You said and he retreated to the bathroom. You felt terrible, guilty even. You decided you would do all you could to make him feel better. You ran upstairs to your bedroom and turned on the mattress heater so it would be nice and warm when he went to bed. You scurried down into the kitchen and started the kettle, preparing some tea that would hopefully help relax him. You heard the shower stop a few minutes later and heard the little slaps of his bare feet hitting the ground as he entered the kitchen. You turned, “Hey, you.” He was wearing his usual plaid pajama bottoms with a light grey t-shirt. You took in the sight of him and melted a little, missing his presence and so grateful he had returned to you. You handed him the cup of tea, your hand shaking a bit. He smiled gratefully and took a sip, eyes brightening a bit in response. 

“Extra sugar, just how you like it.” you smiled shyly.

“Thank you,” He said softly, his hair hung in bouncy curls around his head and were dripping a little. You got an idea, you walked past him towards the bathroom. “Where are you going?” He asked quietly turning to grab your wrist softly, not wanting to be alone. You turned and shot him a soft smile.

“Just grabbing something, you can come with if you want.” You reassured. He nodded and followed you down the hall, you grabbed a towel from the cupboard and grabbed his hand leading him to your shared bedroom. You grabbed the cup of tea from him and sat it down on his nightstand. You had him sit in front of you, facing away from you. You grabbed the towel and softly ran it through his curls, he tilted his head back a little. You ran the towel through his hair till it was just damp, the rhythm calming him. You then put the towel down and proceeded to finger-comb his hair till there were absolutely no tangles. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and gave him a soft kiss on his neck. 

“All done.” you whispered. He turned and faced you, placing his palms on both sides of your face.

“Thank you.” He breathed out then pressed his lips against yours carefully, as if testing the waters. You pressed back hesitantly but hungrily, you didn’t know how he was feeling right now and didn’t want to overstep. You pulled back, using the sliver of self-control you had.

“You’re probably exhausted, lets get some sleep and we can resume this in the morning.” You felt way too adult saying it but this was fragile territory that needed to be treaded on carefully. He nodded and shot you an exhausted smile. You both slid under the covers and and faced each other, gazing into each others eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, breaking eye contact with him. He put his hand up and lightly pressed on your jaw to turn your head back to look at him, a single tear slid down your cheek and he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.

“For what, Sunshine?” he said softly and you whimpered at the use of your nickname.

“I-I couldn’t function. I couldn’t find out where you were. That was everyone else, if it had just been me you would still be in that hellhole and probably be dead by now. I’m so sorry, love.” You said as a sob escaped you. Spencer quickly moved closer to you and wrapped his arms around you, tucking you against his body.

“Don’t be sorry, I got out, I’ll be fine. The only thing I wanted was to be able to see your beautiful face again and I got that.” He reassured and you laughed sadly, if that was even possible.

“You were the one who was kidnapped and you’re trying to comfort me, I don’t deserve you.” You said sadly, burying your face into his chest.

“Believe it or not, this is comforting me. You do deserve me, just getting to be around you again. It’s all I wanted.” He admitted and your heart swelled.

“I love you Spence, so much.” 

“And I love you more.” He said, planting a kiss on your head.

“Not possible.” You practically felt him roll his eyes.

“Go to sleep, love.” He coaxed and you giggled.

“Yes, sir.” You said deadpan and he laughed. You soon fell into a peaceful slumber, comforted by the fact that the man you loved had come back. 

You were awoken around 4:30 a.m., according to your bedside clock, by the man now pressed against your back making terrible whimpering noises and trembling. You turned over to face him and stroked his cheek gently with your fingertips, gently awaking him. His eyes flicked open immediately and your eyes widened in surprise.

“Sorry if I woke you up,” He said, embarrassed and you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t apologize. It’s something that’s gonna happen, I just want you to know you’re safe.” You said and cupped his face. Giving him a long, slow kiss full of love and trust. You pulled away and gave him a lazy smile. “Come here.” You pulled him towards you and he wrapped his arms back around you and nuzzled his face into your neck, breathing in your scent. 

“I missed this too much.” He said against your neck, making his voice sound muffled. You smiled softly. 

“Me too. Go to sleep, love.” You ran your fingers through his hair till you heard his breathing slow and him relax against you, the tension draining from his body. You both fell asleep peacefully and didn’t wake back up till morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't really know, sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a few days to update but I'm still really enjoying writing this so I will try to update ASAP :-)

You woke up the next morning to the sunlight shining happily through your curtains, it’s like the world had color again now that you’d been reunited with Spencer. Everything looked so vibrant and cheerful, you felt like nothing could bring you down, Spencer was pressed against your back, his arm wrapped around your waist possessively like even in his sleep he didn’t want to let you go. You turned around slowly, trying not to wake him. You looked up at him and saw how peaceful he looked, like he could finally let his guard down and just be him without worrying about anything. It made you sad to think how he would never do that while awake, so much had happened and you doubted he would still be the same person from before he was taken, there was no doubt in your mind that you would still love him with all of your heart. No matter what. You delicately lifted his arm from around you and you slid out of the covers, you felt the chill of the morning air and tossed on one of Spencer’s button down shirts over your tank top and shorts. You padded into the kitchen and prepared to make Spencer some breakfast in bed. You turned up the radio you had in the kitchen and you swayed your hips to the beat while stirring some pancake batter. You continued to prance around kitchen while making breakfast, you put some bacon on a pan and swayed your hips while flipping it. Suddenly you felt some hands on your waist and you jumped in surprise. You heard a low chuckle and felt Spencer lean down and trail kisses from your jaw down to your collarbone. You leaned your head back and closed your eyes in bliss.

“You’re supposed to be sleeping.” You pouted and he turned you around to face him, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and just looked at you deeply with his hands cupping your face, as if committing you to his memory so he could remember you perfectly for later when you weren’t around. “It was supposed to be breakfast in bed.” You frowned slightly and he laughed and leaned down to kiss you passionately. He pulled back, leaving you breathless.

“Sorry to ruin your plan, do you think you could settle for a breakfast at the table?” He asked, amusement glimmering in his eyes.

“I guess I could make that work…” You said and looked up as if thinking about it. He laughed brightly and you were so happy that he was so happy that you couldn’t stop grinning.

“Why are you so smiley?” He asked as you turned to flip the bacon before it burned.

“Because the cute guy I live with is happy.” You said simply as he wrapped his arms around your waist again from behind.

“Oh so now I’m just the guy you live with?” He teased and you giggled. 

“Well I guess I do kinda, sorta, really love you.” You said casually and Spencer leaned down and started to trail kisses from your jaw to your collarbone. You groaned, “I can’t make bacon with you doing that,” you whined and he huffed before leaning away from you. “I didn’t say stop.” You said before turning and jumping at him, wrapping your legs around his waist and arms around his neck and slamming your lips against his. Your hand fished behind you to turn off the stove and you turned the knob just before Spencer turned, without breaking the kiss, to carry you to bed.  
A few hours later and you were breathless and exhausted, your head rested on Spencer’s chest and you were tracing random patterns against his skin absentmindedly. Both of your chests were heaving and your hearts were racing. 

“I think the food might be a little cold.” You joked and he laughed and kissed the crown of your head. 

“I think it was worth it,” He said and you nodded. 

“Definitely.” It was then you once again noticed the purple bruises in the crease of his elbow. You hand reached up and touched the marks lightly, Spencer unconsciously flinched and you frowned and looked up at him. “We’ll get through this.” You promised, sounding the most determined he’d ever heard you. He nodded but looked like he wasn’t so sure. “We will Spence. You mean the world to me and I won’t let anyone take that from us. Especially not some measly, though highly addictive, chemical. I love you too much for that.” You insisted and he nodded looking a tiny bit more reassured you leaned up and gave him a quick but passionate kiss before getting up and tossing on just one of Spencer’s dress shirts and walking to the kitchen with a pep in your step. Spencer came in behind you, now donning some plaid pajama pants. You heated up some pancakes and bacon for the two of you and you both devoured everything and ended up full and happy. You two spent the day curled up on the couch reading together and just enjoying each other’s presence once again. It was as if you could finally breathe again now that he was home and you could function properly. 

By the end of the day though you could tell something was off with him. He seemed more fatigued than he should’ve and was shaky and couldn’t hold any focus, numerous times you caught him staring off into space longingly as if craving something. 

“How bad is it?” You asked quietly, fearing the answer. He looked at you in surprise, having not known you had caught on fairly early. He gulped and looked down.

“Pretty bad, I’m sorry.” He said, ashamed and you shook your head.

“This isn’t your fault Spence, but please, please don’t hide anything from me. It’ll just make it worse if I don’t know and just hurt both me and you. All I want to do is help, love.” You explained and he nodded, slightly frowning.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, just don’t do it again.” He nodded and you gave him a relieved smile, “Come here.” You motioned and he laid down across the couch with his head in your lap. You ran your fingers through his hair absentmindedly for a few minutes. “Hotch gave us a week off for you to recover. What do you wanna do?” You asked, just thinking out loud.

Spencer shrugged, “I don’t know yet. You have any ideas?” He asked.

“Nope.”

“Well then let’s not worry about it and just enjoy being together again.” He suggested and you nodded.

“Sounds good.” You leaned down and gave him a long, slow kiss.

You spent the next two days happily with Spencer not having many setbacks, but when the third day rolled around you could instantly tell something was wrong from the moment you woke up. You stirred around four in the morning and felt the space next to you cold. You got up in search of Spencer and found him splashing water on his face in the bathroom. 

“Oh, love.” You whispered and went to his side, he was sweaty and shaking bad. His teeth were chattering and he was white as a sheet. You lightly touched his shoulder and he jumped and whipped around to face you. You jumped back, surprised. He sagged when he saw you and a tear rolled down his cheek. You were getting close to crying by just looking at him. You wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace and he weakened, shaking against you. “It’s ok, you’re ok.” You coaxed and he just clutched you tighter.

“I didn’t think it’d be this hard.” He paused to suck in a shaky breath, “I can’t do it, I can’t.” He broke down and you pulled back, cupping his cheeks and meeting his eyes with a daring intensity.

“Yes, you can. And you will. I won’t let you just give up like this. You can get through this, I believe in you. Plus, you have me.” You teased at the end, trying to lighten the mood and he cracked a small smile. “That’s more like it. Now, since it’s clear you won’t be going to bed, let’s go watch a movie.” You two watched a movie, curled up in your shared bed and attempting to let Spencer forget, even if just for a minute. The only thing on your mind was getting Spencer through this and you promised yourself it would happen. You were the most determined you’d ever been before.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting back to work.

The days got worse and worse… then they got better. It was like a switch had flipped and he was okay again. You both had to take time off work to help him get through it and it took about two weeks till he finally had everything under control enough to go back to work. It had gotten bad, so bad you weren’t even sure he could get through it but… you thought he did. You both got up early on Monday morning, the world seeming vibrant and cheerful. He was motivated, you were motivated, you both got ready and went to work hand in hand. Everyone rushed both of you as soon as you entered the bullpen and gave you hugs and “welcome back!”’s and JJ briefed you all on a case about teenage girls being dismembered and left dead in nearby forests. It was a shock to be tossed back into the harsh world of disturbed people and scarring images and you kept glancing at Spencer with concern to make sure he was doing okay. Hotch announced wheels up in 40 and you all rushed to get everything ready and prepared for the case. It felt good to be back into the swing of things but it left no time for you to check on Spencer. You were in the plane in no time and were briefed once again on the case and you curled into Spencer’s side afterward for a quick nap. You stirred a few hours later and looked up at Spencer to see that all familiar far-away look of craving and you touched his jaw lightly to get him to look at you. He looked down at you and it took his eyes moment to really focus on you and your worry only grew. 

“Spence?” You whispered and he cocked his head at you. 

“Yeah?” He asked innocently and you just grew more confused. 

“You okay?” You asked and he nodded happily, squeezing your shoulder and pulling you more toward him. You frowned slightly and just figured he was just having one of his moments and brushed it off. 

You arrived in Oregon a few hours later and examined the case, coming up with some theories as to what could be going on. You all wrapped up around ten that night and something was clearly wrong with Spencer though he insisted against it. 

“Just go to the hotel, I’ll be there in a little bit. I just gotta finish up this paperwork.” He insisted and kissed you on the forehead, effectively closing the conversation and you drove to the hotel, your mind clouded with confusion; You were incredibly oblivious. He didn’t come to the hotel till two in the morning and you were sick with worry, sleep not even an option for you. 

“Where have you been?!?” You whisper-shouted, trying not to wake anyone up, and he dragged his hand down his face. 

“I just had a lot of work to get through. Why didn’t you go to sleep?” He asked, taking a step toward you. You took a step back, still angry. 

“Yeah, no. I don’t bury that. I can’t go to sleep not knowing if you’re okay and you weren’t answering my texts or calls.” You said, close to tears. 

“Love, I just turned my phone off to stop myself from getting distracted. There’s no need to worry.” He insisted but you just shook your head. You could tell he was hiding something, you were a profiler afterall. 

“When you want to tell me the truth we can talk.” You ground out and left, slamming the door behind you and going to Emily’s room to spend the night on her couch. You woke up with an ache in your neck and back but your anger had not diminished. You had told him not to lie to you then he went and did the opposite. Emily questioned you but when you said you didn’t want to talk she didn’t push it. You were extremely grateful but just couldn’t open up to her about it, it felt like too much. Too private. 

The case dragged on and Spencer kept trying to get your attention but you weren’t having it. You ignored him for the entire day till you shuffled into your hotel room around eleven. Spencer was already there but in the bathroom. You knocked on the bathroom door and heard what sounded like him dropping something and some nervous shuffling. 

“Y/N?” He asked nervously. 

“You ready to talk?” You asked leaned against the counter right across from the bathroom door. He pulled open the door and you looked him over, he had bags under his eyes like he was tired but mentally he seemed fine. 

“Do we have to?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck and a nervous expression etched on his face. 

“Yeah. Unless you want me to go sleep somewhere else.” You told him, crossing your arms and setting your jaw, prepared for a fight. He just grew sad though. 

“No, I don’t want you to go anywhere. I can’t sleep without you.” He admitted but you were still unmoved. You motioned for him to continue, “Um, so last week I-I uh,” He stumbled around his words and you feared his words, predicting what he was about to say. 

“You didn’t,” Your hand reached up to cover your mouth in shock. His expression gave everything away though, his eyes kept darting around the room and he looked anxious and nervous. “Oh my god. You did.” You could only get that out before your mouth opened and closed several times, nothing coming out due to the shock and betrayal you felt. You put your face in your hands to hide it and struggled to keep from crying. Then you realized this was his confession, he must be at a point where he’s ready to finally give it up. You picked your head back up and looked at him for a long moment. “You’re going to stop, right?” You asked and he looked down, ashamed. 

“I can’t.” He whispered. 

“Of course you can! You just have to want to!” You yelled and he just grew more and more ashamed and embarrassed. He wasn’t going to give it up though. You nodded bitterly, “Well, I can see how this is going to go.” You moved away from him and started packing your things. He instantly grew frantic. 

“What’re you doing? Where are you going?” He asked in desperation. 

“I honestly was so ready, so determined to get you through this. You said you wouldn’t lie to me! I can’t do it anymore if you can’t. This is a two way street and you have no disregard for the other lane.” You said angrily and picked up your now packed go-bag. “You need to get some help. When you are ready and prepared to do that, we can talk.” You finished and stormed out, slamming the door behind you. 

You went to the front desk and got yourself your own room. If you stayed with someone else it would arise too many questions and all you wanted to do was curl up on a bed and cry. Which is exactly what you did. You sobbed till there was nothing left. You didn’t think he would blatantly lie to you and cut you out like this but a small, small part of you knew you should be there for him right now, it wasn’t his fault that he was forced into being drugged. He needed you now and you were too busy being angry. On the other hand though, it was his choice to get high again and lie to you about it. You were so conflicted and confused you went to bed restless and had a troubled sleep. The next few days of the case you ignored Spencer completely and avoided questions from others. On the plane ride back you chatted with the girls and ignored the desperate looks Spencer kept giving you. You overheard Morgan asking Spencer what was going on but Spencer just said he didn’t want to talk about it. When the plane landed you walked ahead of Spencer and he ran to catch up with you. 

“Can we talk?” He asked and you turned to him, anger burning in your eyes. 

“I don’t know, can we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for now folks! Thank you so much for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update but I'm back with another chapter for you! I had a bit of writers block for this story but I think I'm getting out of it :) enjoy!

“If you’ll have me.” He said, matching your stride and shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, his shoulders hunching up nervously. You stayed silent for a moment, pondering while simultaneously making him work for it. You decided to just see what would happen and nodded hesitantly. He instantly weakened in relief, “How about I make dinner and we can talk then?” He proposed.

“Sure.” You agreed and turned to wave at everyone else on the team before getting into the car. You both drove home in a charged silence, the future so clouded with possibility you both were stunned into silence. When you got to the apartment and shut the door behind you just faced each other awkwardly for a few seconds. “I’m gonna go unpack.” You said finally, breaking the silence and turned, walking into the bedroom. You waited a minute till you were sure he wasn’t going to follow, then sat on the edge of the bed, your head in your hands. You were exhausted and your resolve was cracking. You had missed him so much in the last few days that you physically ached. All you wanted to do was run out there and into his arms and never leave but… he had lied and betrayed you. You were once again conflicted and you broke down, the tears flooding down your cheeks. You didn’t know how long you were sitting there when you heard the door creak open and looked up in surprise, quickly wiping the tears off your cheeks. Spencer rushed to your side, grabbing your hands and holding them in his, concern flooding into his features.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” He asked frantically. You just shook your head and looked away.

“Everything. You lied, you hurt yourself, you hurt me. I’m just so, so tired.” The tears poured out again and you looked at him with hurt in your eyes. “Why? Why did you do it?” You whimpered and he reached his hand up to brush your tears away, holding your face in his hand and you unconsciously leaned into it, savoring his touch.

He frowned, “It was just one fleeting moment of weakness and I couldn’t go back afterward. It was too hard.” He admitted, looking down. “It’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.”

“Nothing’s too hard for you, Spence. You could’ve done it. All you needed to do was tell me it was too much and we could’ve gotten you some help.” He nodded. 

“Let’s go eat, we can talk then.” You nodded and followed him out the door and into the kitchen. You must’ve been in there a lot longer than you thought because when you walked into the kitchen the mood completely changed. The lights were dimmed, candles were scattered around the kitchen and table. Two plates of some sort of pasta sat steaming on the table, wine glasses full of red wine. You looked up at him appreciatively and he gave you a nervous smile. Your stomach growled as you realized how hungry you were and Spencer’s eyes widened in response. “Jeez, you better eat.” He teased and gestured toward the table. You moved toward it and he pulled your chair out for you.

You blushed, “Thank you.” You said quietly, sitting down. He nodded and went and sat across from you. You twirled your fork in the pasta and took a test bite. It was so delicious you kinda moaned without meaning to. “Ohmygodsogood.” You said quickly, going back in for more instantly. He laughed and took a sip of wine before taking a bite himself.

He nodded, “Yeah, this is better than I expected.” You both ate in silence for a few minutes before you finally got the courage to say something, you cleared your throat first.

“Um, so what’s your plan?” You started off, looking down at your rapidly disappearing dinner and taking a massive gulp of wine. It took him a moment to respond.

“I-I’m not sure… maybe rehab or something? I’ll have to do some research but I am going to make this work. I can’t lose you, I know that now.” He admitted, gazing deep into your eyes. 

You nodded, semi-satisfied with his answer. “You messed up bad Spence, real bad.” You said, meeting his gaze with a furious intensity.

“I know, but I’m going to make it up to you. I swear,” He got up from his seat and went over to you, getting on his knees in front of you, pleading. “I love you more than anything, if you would give me just one more chance I will not screw it up and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I won’t lie, turn my back on you, or do anything to remotely hurt you ever again. I promise.” He took your hands into his, you were too shocked to even say anything. Tears sprung to your eyes and raced down your cheeks for the second time today, only they were happy and relieved this time. You leaned down and pressed your lips against his hungrily, moving your hands up to hold his face. He reciprocated immediately, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you onto the floor with him. You ran your fingers through his hair, pulling slightly on the curls. He groaned and cupped your face, pulling back to look into your eyes. “Are we good?” He asked, breathing heavily. 

You nodded, “Definitely.” and slammed your lips back against his, starved of him for too long to just stop. His fingers laced in your hair, pulling you towards him and onto his lap. You finally felt like you could relax and your body weakened in relief and Spencers hands moved from your hair to your waist to hold you up.

“You okay?” He asked gently and you wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a soft smile, leaning into his arms.

“More than okay. I love you so much.” You said and leaned in for a passionate kiss. Everything had turned around and you finally felt like everything was going to be fine. You pulled back and wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace, nuzzling into his neck. He held onto you just as tightly, his face pressed into your neck. 

“I love you too.”


End file.
